Reason Three: Gifts

No, this is not a block of cocaine. This was my birthday present this year (or part of it, at least).

My hetero husband is seriously gift challenged. He never knows what to get me, can't remember when I tell him things and, later, we will discuss presentation.

Our first Christmas together, I was convinced that I was getting some sort of kitchen appliance. I was sure of it. I walked out on Christmas and saw a HUGE cardboard box, with something about a chair on the side. Ugh. "He bought a chair, it is going to be hideous," I thought. To my surprise, a nice necklace was inside a very small box inside (wrapped in the plastic bag from the jeweler.) Now, this was not a necklace I would have picked out, but it was nice. I thanked him and told him, several weeks later, to let me pick out jewelry in the future. But I am still haunted my that cardboard box.

I grew up in an admittedly insane family where if gifts were not wrapped with a homemade bow, grandpa refused to open them; where grandma had a closet full of wrapping supplies and gift bags were reserved for emergency wrapping situations only. So the lack of imagination in wrapping bothers me. It is an incredibly ridiculous thing to think about, but I am the type of person that wants the prettiest gifts under the tree, even if no one else notices. I buy ribbon all year long, have a huge bin of various bags, boxes and fillers. Okay, I might be insane.

Some of my hetero's other "unique" wrapping that I have received are: a Rachael Ray magazine wrapped in an orange pocket folder, the above DVD wrapped in toilet paper and masking tape and a scarf in a Target bag. Undoubtedly, each gift still has a price tag on and is, usually, some variation of something I said I liked once, but never really said that I wanted. Unless, of course, I have told him exactly what to get - like when he scored big with the black and white print umbrella as part of a gift.

The real kicker, though, was my gift for grad school graduation - the DVD of "Last Holiday" with Queen Latifah and "You: The Owner's Manual" that book by Dr. Oz. These two items, with price tags, were wrapped in a Pirates of the Caribbean gift bag. So finally, he gets a gift bag, but I am not into pirates. And let's talk about the gifts, themselves. I love Queen Latifah; but a movie about some woman who thinks she is dying? And a book that urges you to get healthy is great, but jeez, I just finished a Master's degree wasn't that enough self-improvement for one week?

As I created a very lovely basket for a wedding shower today, I thought about a day with a husband that would see the need for an entire room dedicated to gift wrapping. For a husband that would want to learn how to make my handmade bows, that would understand the necessity of wired ribbon and give me a gift with no price tag, wrapped in something actually from the gift wrap aisle at the store.