Reason Twelve: Weapons of Mass Annoyance

I had to take about 6 photos of this cannon while on vacation. HH was insistent that we get just the right angle while we sweated atop a hill in the Bahamas. I didn't even care about this stupid fort and never really quite understood it's importance in Bahamian history but HH was obsessed with this cannon.

I shouldn't have been surprised. HH has a serious weapons affection that should cause me to worry. Due to the fact that I find psychological reasoning for everything (yes, everything) I have come to believe that it is some extension of the hetero man's obsession with his own penis. Why else would most weapons have a long shaft?

HH watches the Military Channel as though he is preparing for combat some day. I often have to watch a clip of some explosive or military formation and be expected to be impressed. I am not. I do not plan on needing the knowledge of where things are on a submarine or what level of damage various weapons can provide.

So, I am forced to consider the obvious phallic nature of weapons, the imagery of explosions in many films when trying to convey sexual pleasure, and the mere existence of a Military Channel, which mostly shows the aforementioned weapons, explosions, and the most spectacularly choreographed routines, I mean military formations, in history. I am also forced to consider HHs affection for these things.

I don't know how dream gay husband would feel about weapons. I would hope he would have some "Make Love Not War" flair on his Facebook page. I would hope that the weapon he treasured most was sarcastic wit. I would hope would rather be looking at designer knock offs at the straw market instead of a canon.